The latest rightwing email follows. . .
HUSSEIN'S VISIT TO AFGHANISTAN
Hello everyone,
As you know I am not a very political person.
Promising start, no? He's not political, but he titles his email "Hussein's visit to Afghanistan." Because your average not-political-at-all American always refers to Barack Obama as "Hussein." The rest follows.
I just wanted to pass along that Senator Obama came to Bagram Afghanistan for about an hour on his visit to 'The War Zone'. I wanted to share with you what happened. He got off the plane and got into a bullet proof vehicle, got to the area to meet with the Major General (2 Star) who is the commander here at Bagram. As the Soldiers where lined up to shake his hand he blew them off and didn't say a word as he went into the conference room to meet the General. As he finished, the vehicles took him to the ClamShell (pretty much a big top tent that military personnel can play basketball or work out in with weights) so he could take his publicity pictures playing basketball. He again shunned the opportunity to talk to Soldiers to thank them for their service. So really he was just here to make a showing for the American's back home that he is their candidate for President. I think that if you are going to make an effort to come all the way over here you would thank those that are providing the freedom that they are providing for you. I swear we got more thanks from the NBA Basketball Players or the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders than from one of the Senators, who wants to be the President of the United States. I just don't understand how anyone would want him to be our Commander-and-Chief. It was almost that he was scared to be around those that provide the freedom for him and our great country.
If this is blunt and to the point I am sorry but I wanted you all to know what kind of caliber of person he really is. What you see in the news is all fake.
In service,
CPT Jeffrey S. Porter
Battle Captain
TF Wasatch
American Soldier
(married and father of 6 children)Huge Freaking Asshole
Ok, he didn't put in that last line, it was just implied throughout the entire email. Especially since he made the entire thing up.
That's right. One of America's Heroes, someone who just might (before this happened, at least) consider coming back from his tour in Afghanistan to start a successful political career, one in which the only qualification needed, apparently, is to wear a military uniform for a while.
Captain Porter is now asking people to take down the original email. Not a chance, dumbass. Maybe you can use this whole thing as an object lesson to your six children on why we shouldn't lie, even if you are just another Republican dummy who thinks ethics and morals are for other people.
If this guy isn't subject to an immediate dishonorable discharge, there's something wrong with our military's disciplinary system.
Posted by: Toast | July 26, 2008 at 09:22 PM
Unfortunately, it's hardly the first and certainly won't be the last time a soldier campaigns for a Republican. In 2004 US soldiers were in Bush campaign commercials so often they were eligible for SAG cards.
And if a soldier campaigns for a Democrat, that person should also be dishonorably discharged.
Posted by: Stephen | July 26, 2008 at 09:33 PM
The man's command of spelling, grammar and punctuation are a credit to his Republican upbringing, not to mention his college or university (assuming his commission resulted from such a degree). Some day, he'll no doubt be Assistant Deputy Secretary of Arabian Horseshit in the Jindal administration.
Posted by: Henderstock | July 26, 2008 at 10:30 PM
This bullshit is neverending with these people.
How much do you want to bet that half of the winger blogs run this and never bother to print the correction.
Posted by: Sir Charles | July 27, 2008 at 12:08 AM
In his retraction Porter says the original e-mail "was meant only for my family." It must be a forgetful family, since it needs to be reminded that dad is "a Battle Captain... married and the father of 6 children."
Posted by: Gary | July 27, 2008 at 12:50 AM
Gary, excellent point--in all my 47 years, neither my siblings nor I have never had a letter from my Dad where he signed off with a reminder of his career choice and honorific followed by
British Businessman,
Married and father of three.
For Captain Porter to think he could hurriedly say "it was meant for family only" and that no-one would call him on that shows you a) how stupid wingnuts are and b) how stupid they think everyone is.
This letter was written--and I use that verb in its broadest, most forgiving sense--with the intent to do harm, that is, to insult Senator Obama and portray him not as the world has come to know him, but rather, like a certain plastic-turkey-serving sociopath of Thanksgiving past.
And I agree with Toast--disciplinary action time.
What a disgrace.
Posted by: litbrit | July 27, 2008 at 08:00 AM
What you see in the news is all fake. True dat. Lying to the world is bad. Lying to your family is worse still. Using a lie to your family as an excuse for lying to the world makes you an actual, lying, coward.
Posted by: drip | July 27, 2008 at 10:54 AM
"What you see in the news is all fake."
At least he was honest about the news.
Posted by: Capt. Bat Guano | July 27, 2008 at 11:39 AM
The kerning was so off on that E-mail!
And "battle captain" refers to someone on S-3 or G-3 staff, typically a guy who is too junior for a command or excess dead weight that can't be trusted with a command. If he's MI branch, with the Utah NG, and has this in his background, he won't get a command--he'll get shit details until they kick him out for not getting promoted.
Posted by: Warren Street | July 27, 2008 at 11:51 AM
Warren Street,
Yeah. I was told once, "as long as you don't kill anyone while driving drunk, you'll make captain." Advancing beyond that, however, tends to require something more than a pulse.
Posted by: Stephen | July 27, 2008 at 12:21 PM
Unfortunately, according to Snopes, his commander isn't inclined to discipline him since he seems contrite about it. Right.
Posted by: Joe Bourgeois | July 27, 2008 at 12:56 PM
Hey Mr. McIntire, Utah NGuard spokesman, here's a lesson in professional protocols, you don't list your rank and file if it's personal, no more than I would include my business title when e-mailing my family. You bought the lie and now lying is okay in the Utah National Guard.
Posted by: Mario | July 27, 2008 at 01:35 PM
It seems to me that this displays some really questionable judgement, and were my brother/son/father in TF Wasatch I'd be really concerned that this guy had a position of leadership.
As it is, my brother is a Captain in the Marines, has been in Iraq and is going again, and I'll be damn happy when I know he's not likely to be called upon to serve with/near/in the same Armed Forces as that lying son of a bitch.
Posted by: Peter S. | July 27, 2008 at 03:16 PM
Peter S.,
Amen to that.
We wish your brother well and hope he is safe and home soon.
Posted by: Sir Charles | July 27, 2008 at 04:00 PM
Two hours after reading this post and the Snopes article, my girlfriend started telling me about an email thread from her conservative relatives in Idaho, and I immediately started laughing. I gave her the link and she sent it back, but we haven't yet seen a retraction from her grandma.
Posted by: maxk | July 28, 2008 at 10:03 AM