If You Don't Support Same-Sex Marriage, Don't Marry Someone Of the Same Sex

I have a challenge for Rod Dreher and any other Real True Christian who thinks it is not only their right, but their obligation to publicly, loudly and constantly give voice to their beliefs about the sinfulness of homosexuality and same-sex marriage.

Whenever an acquaintance of yours talks of going out drinking and dancing, condemn them for it.  All Christian sects, even those that allow drinking, believe that drunkenness is a sin.  So when you get an email inviting the whole staff to a happy hour after work, hit "Reply All" and let everyone know that you won't be attending because it's sinful to get drunk.

If you even find out that an acquaintance is living with a boyfriend or girlfriend, condemn them.  Do it to their face and to everyone else in the office.  Put it in emails.  Refuse to spend any social time with them at all.

If you're ever invited to a movie that features sex outside of marriage, drug use or drunkenness, refuse the invitation.  But be sure to condemn both the movie and the people inviting you to see it.  Remember, in our electronic society, "Reply All" is a Christian's best friend, because it helps to spread the Good News of Jesus Christ.

That message, of course, consists entirely of loudly detailing who is a sinner and how bad their sins are juxtaposed against the martyrific righteousness of the Real True Christians.  Plus, since people don't like being constantly condemned in the workplace - and especially since some of them think that the workplace is for, you know, working - you'll get plenty of Persecution Points to redeem for a bigger mansion in heaven.

There's a lot of sin out there, so get on it, Real True Christians!

Comments

[oddjob]

Oh, and to really score heavy (self)righteousness points with Heaven make especially sure to remind everyone of how very specifically Jesus taught that divorce must never happen - to anyone!

[Calvin Jones and the 13th Apostle]

It might be uncouth of me, but I have to say that Rod Dreher is a stone cold idiot. The dude should stop living in fear all the time. I bet he's one unhappy dude deep down inside.

[Corvus]

All Christian sects, even those that allow drinking, believe that drunkenness is a sin

Man, that really sucks for the Irish.

[low-tech cyclist]

It might be uncouth of me, but I have to say that Rod Dreher is a stone cold idiot. The dude should stop living in fear all the time. I bet he's one unhappy dude deep down inside.

What's really scary is that Dreher is touted as being a 'reasonable' evangelical, compared to the likes of James Dobson, Pat Robertson, and so forth.

Of course, that's kinda like saying Saturn's atmosphere is more breathable than Jupiter's.

[kathy a.]

do many of these folks participate in broader life, with people who don't hold their own views? i find it kind of hard to believe that they would last long in your basic secular office environment, where condemning sinners is generally not part of the mission statement, nor appreciated. it's awfully easy to condemn people whom you neither know nor recognize as full humans.

the kind of "sky is falling" tone in this guy's piece is exactly the way people railed on when women got the vote, discrimination against african-americans was banned, inter-racial marriage was allowed, contraception was recognized as a constitutionally protected private matter, etc.

[Sir Charles]

Hey kids -- just checking in from St. John in the Caribbean (no wifi at the rental house -- blessing or curse -- you make the call).

Anyway, if drunkeness is a sin, why was Jesus's first recorded miracle making wine? Did he only make one glass per person at the wedding?

I've had a couple of painkillers and between that and the sun and the sea (not to mention sea turtles, rays, squid, parrot and angel fish, as well as humming birds and cranes) I could almost start believing in this God character. Of course I don't have a desire to see it all destroyed in a ball of fire, so I guess I don't have the right stuff for that sort of thing.

[litbrit]

Hey there Sir C! Your holiday sounds heavenly--in more ways than one.

Be sure to have some rum punch while you're there; however, don't forget to plaster on the sunblock before you start in on the first one. Enjoy and happy travels!