Well, as ever, leave it to the Brits. Nobody else writes with such deadpan humor. I still have tears running down my face from reading this. Give this woman a Pulitzer (or whatever it is Brits give to newspaper people who write good stuff):
What if the doomsayers are right ... what if society, as we know it, really is about to collapse? Do you have what it takes to make it in a world without electricity and running water? Tanya Gold offers an essential survival guide.
(H/T to Bill in Balto)
Hahahahahaha! Terrific essay. I liked the idea of building a pit trap in order to catch rabbit, deer, and other journalists.
Seriously, I would do whatever I could to make sure Robert was healthy and alive and, most importantly, close by. Because within six hours of civilization's collapse, he'd have built us an entire house out of bamboo, complete with bamboo pipes--even an extra-large-diameter one leading away from the tree-stump toilet we all know the boys are going to clog immediately--and a stylishly modernist thatched roof that will never leak, proving once and for all that the ways and means of the Old World (and by Old World, he means Italy) remain not only viable, but necessary.
Me, I'd spend the time hunting for coconuts to render so I could make hair conditioner. The apocalypse would be stressful enough without the prospect of having to detangle my yards of crowning glory using only a plastic comb swiped from some dead guy's breast-pocket.
Posted by: litbrit | January 30, 2009 at 08:12 AM
Whingeing and binging indeed. I fear that my skills as a lawyer are not terribly apocalypse friendly.
If you want to read a less lighthearted depiction of post-apocalyptic life I recommend "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy.
Posted by: Sir Charles | January 30, 2009 at 10:21 AM
Yep. Read it. Loved it. Hope the movie is half as good.
Posted by: Lisa Simeone | January 30, 2009 at 10:51 AM
I almost rented Mad Max the other day for some post-apocalypse living tips. Thanks to Lisa (and Tanya) I don't have to!
Posted by: drip | January 30, 2009 at 12:14 PM
Very funny :-)
Yeah, I'd be completely useless post-apocalypse. Might as well off myself right there and then.
Posted by: nimh | January 31, 2009 at 10:54 AM