Apologies to this noble animal, but since its name has long since been adopted to describe sham legal proceedings, it's only appropriate here. The so-called trial now taking place at Guantánamo of Salim Hamdan, a low-level driver of Osama bin Laden, is a kangaroo court. As the U.S. military preens and poses, going through the motions of due process, bragging (not to mention preaching) to the rest of the world about its high-falutin' legal system, a few members of the press are sort of allowed in, sort of allowed to cover the trial, and sort of allowed to report on it.
In today's New York Times account, the dispassionate narration of the proceedings never once mentions the word "torture." The usual euphemisms that have become so beloved of the press, however, are in abundance: "coercive interrogation," "highly coercive environment." But no matter. Few Americans care that our government is torturing people in our name, anyway. So I suppose we can just look at the proceedings with an appreciation for farce.
Seven years after the September 11th attacks, we are no closer to catching Osama bin Laden, but we have got his cabbie, by George! What an accomplishment. And in keeping with the superior transparency of American justice, nowhere are Hamdan's offenses actually spelled out, but appear to include checking the oil and the tire pressure on bin Laden's car.
Even for lovers of farce, though, it's hard to tell what's going on: Yes, the Constitutution does apply (Supreme Court); no, it doesn't (military judge Capt. Keith Allred). Yes, Guantánamo is part of the USA (1903 Cuban-American Treaty); no, it isn't (Pentagon spokeswoman Maj. Gail Crawford). Cameras are allowed in the courtroom (Pentagon cameras only), but they're turned away from witnesses' faces and from evidence.
But what the hell? Feydeau and Molière are long since gone -- we've gotta get our entertainment somewhere!
