In which I throw down the Gauntlet to Tweety

Chris Matthews has now indicated that his comments with respect to Hillary were simply the result of empirically observable fact and not mere opinion.  Stung by the criticisms of the uppity women of The View, Matthews has challenged them to a "Jeopardy" like contest to see who has the greater knowledge of late Twentieth Century American Politics.

Now I fancy myself a rather keen student of the kind of trivial political knowledge of which Matthews know doubt thinks he is the master.  But a simple round of Trivial Pursuit with Matthews doesn't interest me -- it needs an additional element.  And then I thought of "Chess Boxing" -- the sport of brawn and brain that is sweeping -- well, Cologne Germany evidently. 

And so I propose this to Mr. Matthews: I, Sir Charles, will square off with you mano a mano, in any site of your choosing for three three minute rounds of boxing -- ten ounce gloves, no head gear, ring size to be determined -- and three ten minute rounds of Twentieth Century American political knowledge, alternating from boxing to trivia.  I'll show you my James M. Cox, as it were, if you show me your Williams Gibbs McAdoo.  And then I shall kick your ass in the gentlemanly fashion.    And we can do it all for charity.

I am 47, 6' and roughly 200 pounds so I believe we are in the same weight and age class.  What do you have to lose?  (Well, probably a little dignity and blood -- but what the fuck -- we can do it for the children.)  Have your people call me.

Plutocracy warmup trivia question for all you Cogblog kids: Name the only Secretary of the Treasury under whom three Presidents served? 

p.s. Chris, I smell vaguely of leather and cinnamon, so the clinches will be memorable for you.

 

Comments

[Lisa Simeone]

I am dying! I am sitting here laughing and dying! Though I detest boxing, oh, Sir C, please let me be thine lady-in-waiting, thine damsel-of-derring-do, thine feministe-fatale! I will carry thine boxing gloves, I will mop the sweat from thine brow (but please, not perfume, cinnamon or otherwise -- it gives me a headache).

Do let us know if Chris M. replies (well, come to think of it, I'll guess he'll have to do it here in the pages of this blog, unless he knows your real identity . . . ?)

[Lisa Simeone]

P.S. I got my thines wrong. Thine before a word that begins with a vowel, thy before a consonant. Please don't hold it against me. I'll still carry your damn boxing gloves.

[rea]

Name the only Secretary of the Treasury under whom three Presidents served?

I'm stmped. Andrew Mellon was the only Secretary of the Treasury to serve (in that capacity) under 3 presidents, but that's not what you asked.

[Sir Charles]

rea,

Right answer -- you just have to appreciate the spirit in which the question was offered. Many felt Mellon (that sounds vaguely dirty) was far more powerful than the presidents -- Harding, Coolidge, and Hoover -- in whose cabinets he served.

And Lisa, I woud be honored to have you mop my brow, carry my gloves, and correct my grammar.

And no Matthews does not know my identity -- not yet anyway. But I could be behind you at any moment Chris -- be afraid, be very afraid.

[bystander]

Oh My Dear God, Sir Charles! I daresay it would draw a substantial crowd, but don't the likes of Matthews generally find some way to ooze out of these types of confrontations. I recognize your profound desire to render the man unconscious with a lovely roundhouse punch - which hopefully would leave most of his teeth on the floor, but must you risk exposing your carefully guarded identity this way?

For those more squeamish of the manly arts of blood and gore, I recommend following up on a letter writing campaign to MSNBC sponsored by Media Matters. Maybe we can simply depose him; humiliation and a loss of bully pulpit in a single blow. Leave the teeth extraction to some woman who upsets his lunch some day by knocking him clean out of his chair.

[Sir Charles]

bystander,

I would indeed expose my secret identity for the chance to knock that smug son of a bitch on his ass.

And no roundhouse punches -- a fundamentally sound, straight right hand thrown from the shoulder after snapping a left jab into that ridiculous mug of his.

Somehow a letter to MSNBC just doesn't have the same allure.

[bystander]

a fundamentally sound, straight right hand thrown from the shoulder after snapping a left jab into that ridiculous mug of his.

Ouch! At 6' and 200lbs, my jaw hurts just thinking about it.

Teeth everywhere!

[Lisa Simeone]

Sir C, maybe you could be a Masked Avenger and conduct the fight in disguise to protect your identity? I have some ideas for a fetching costume, based on your preferred colors, of course.

[litbrit]

Oh my goodness, my heart is racing.

Lisa, I'll be your helper, standing alongside the ring with Gatorade and protein smoothies, though I hardly think they'll be needed.

Sir C, do keep us posted as to the date and place--I mean, can Mr. Matthews really ignore such a challenge? I'd love nothing more than watching a brains 'n brawn match between someone I like and respect and someone who makes my stomach hurt and the hair on the back of my neck bristle. Say the word and I'm on a plane.